Rest used to feel like something you earned after exhaustion.
Lately, it feels a little more complicated than that.
When your work is public, rest and pauses becomes visible too. People notice when you slow down. They ask questions. They speculate. Sometimes they project their own expectations onto your pause.
I’ve learned that rest in public spaces is often misunderstood. It’s read as disengagement or lack of ambition, especially for women who are expected to be constantly available, constantly productive, constantly proving something. I was out with an awful flu for a week and I came back to a barrage of questions, suggestions and of course, speculations.
The truth is that rest is not passive. It’s active maintenance and choosing not to collapse in private just so you can perform strength and resilience in public. It’s also about setting boundaries that don’t always make sense to other people.
Some days, rest looks like stepping away from the noise. Other days, it looks like doing the work more slowly and more deliberately. Both methods matter.
I’m still learning how to rest without explaining myself though. I’m also learning how to trust that stepping back doesn’t erase my impact and how to believe that self-care is part of the work that I do, not a reward at the end of it.
This is one of those lessons that doesn’t arrive all at once. It shows up quietly and repeatedly until you listen.