Lessons from Meeting my Heroes

Throughout my journey, political, professional, and otherwise, there have been quite a few people I looked up to. From women who broke barriers to leaders who once resonated with and encouraged me. Save for a few, many of them have disappointed me in one way or another.

I have found myself breaking one of the most popular laws of power, surpassing the master in an attempt to impress, only to become persona non grata. In other situations, I was manipulated and publicly humiliated because of my naivety and unwavering loyalty to people I believed could do no wrong. I have also been caught in the crossfire of power struggles that had little to do with me, walking away with a bruised sense of self and personal and professional relationships damaged beyond repair.

These experiences reshaped me. They stripped away the wide-eyed admiration and replaced it with something quieter and more grounded. Early betrayals and the slow realization that I had been viewing people through rose-coloured glasses created a version of me that is far more analytical, critical, and intentional when engaging those in positions of power.

Meeting your heroes is often framed as a moment of validation. For me, it became a lesson in discernment.

Here are ten things I learned from meeting mine.

1. Admiration is not protection. Respect does not exempt you from being collateral damage.
2. Power does not always come with emotional intelligence. Influence and maturity are not guaranteed to coexist.
3. Loyalty is often celebrated until it becomes inconvenient. Then it is rewritten as weakness.
4. Proximity to power can distort your sense of self if you are not anchored in your own values.
5. Being useful will earn you access, not necessarily respect.
6. Silence is frequently rewarded more than integrity. Speaking up has a cost few are willing to acknowledge upfront.
7. Mentorship can quietly turn transactional if expectations are never clearly defined.
8. Ego is fragile at every level. Many conflicts are less about you and more about wounded pride.
9. Disappointment does not always mean failure. Sometimes it is clarity arriving late.
10. You do not need heroes. You need principles.

I no longer look for perfection in leaders or saviours in systems. I look for consistency, accountability, and alignment between what people say and what they are willing to stand by when it costs them something. If anything, meeting my heroes did not make me cynical. It made me free.

Freedom, I have learned, comes from seeing clearly and choosing yourself anyway.